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Joke of the Day

"I told the cop I was an upstanding citizen But I was really lying"

"I saw a smart car get hit with a snow ball today, yep, it was totalled!"

"(God creating coyotes) God: Make them look like dogs. Angel: Exactly like dogs? God: But with a meth problem."

"Did you hear about the goblin whose left arm and left leg cut off? Guess what he's alright now!"

"What on Earth did the NASA discover? Nothing, it was on Mars"

"Sandeep the indian wifebeater punches his wife at 7pm every night On the dot"

"When I asked for my wife's hand in marriage, I didn't realize how often I'd just get the finger."

"A leading rabbi has ruled that marijuana is kosher Now we know what kids are gonna be doing for the Jewish High Holidays..."

"What's the difference between a baby and a big bag of cocaine? Eric Clapton would NEVER let a big bag of cocaine fall out a window!"

"I just ordered a pair of 24"" socks They're two feet. (this actually happened)"