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Joke of the Day

"Guys who try to pick up women on Twitter are a bit sad... Ladies, if you agree, DM me your number so we can talk about it..."

"Fogged up my monocle while eating a soft-boiled egg. Had quite a chuckle. I imagine I won't forget it anytime soon."

"Me: tries to sleep Brain: M: B: M: B: M: B: if one synchronized swimmer drowns do the others have to drown too?"

"I wrote a book about my car It was an auto-biography"

"What do you do if a blonde throws a grenade at you? Pull the pin and throw it back. "

"What will Gene Wilder's last will and testament will say? YOU GET NOTHING! Yeah I'm going to hell."

"So this guy with premature ejaculation... ...just comes out of no where!"

"A women insists, ""Women are funny!"" A man replies, ""You're right! That's the funniest thing I've ever heard!"""

"The fabric of our lives? Why so epic, Cotton?"

"Orange Julius is the third best thing to happen to oranges behind mimosas and the ""orange you glad I didn't say banana"" knock knock joke"