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Joke of the Day

"I ran over some flowers when I was mowing today Whoopsy-daisy!"

"Bought some shoes from a drug dealer... Not sure what he laced them with, but I have been trippen' all day."

"I saw a really cute girl and I wanted to get her number but... I got all choked up. Yeah, living in Compton is f*cked up, they got my wallet too."

"Whats the difference between a lentil and a chikpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face"

"What did the hungry computer programmer say? All I want is one byte. Hell, I'll even take a nibble."

"A car full of catholic school children got in a terrible accident Nun survived."

"It's not that the man didn't know how to juggle, He just didn't have the balls to do it."

"Non-alcoholic beer... Is like eating your sister's pussy. It tastes the same but deep down you know it just isn't right."

"Why wasn't Thor invited to his brother's surprise party? Odin wanted to keep it 'Loki'."

"Who is a battery manufacturer's favorite baseball player of all time? Al Kaline."