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Joke of the Day

"Who is a battery manufacturer's favorite baseball player of all time? Al Kaline."

"I will be with you always and forever, even during the rough times, until the day we die. -Herpes"

"Did you hear about the comedian who gave an old lady a defective piece of cooking equipment? He's known for his deadpan delivery."

"A wife in big doses is poison, in small doses medicine."

"*zip-lines through your living room window* *shakes off the broken glass* YO! DO YOU LIKE BRAD PITT BETTER WITH SHORT OR LONG HAIR!?"

"Who was the first underwater spy? James Pond."

"Arguing on the internet is like the Special Olympics. It doesn't matter if you win you're still retarded."

"You should always carry pepper when you go into the city In case you become a victim of a-salt!"

"The worst part about looking for a job is if you're successful, you end up with a job."

"Why did God put the ring on Saturn? Because he liked it."