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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Asians make white babies? Because two Wongs don't make a white"

"Marriage. Because your sh*tty day doesn't have to end at work."

"One day my kids will find a ""We're Closed"" sign for a grocery store & ask what it is & I'll sound like the old guy explaining shit in Zelda."

"Pretty sure most of the people in coffee shops on lap tops are just writing letters to their parents asking if they can move back home."

"How did the farmer move his cows? In a mooving van!"

"Some coworkers remind me of my ex, because I would jump in front of a bus to get out of a conversation with them too."

"Have you heard of Charlie Sheen and Lindsey Lohans new sitcom? It's called ""two and a half grams"""

"A lot of problems in the world would disappear if we talk TO EACH OTHER instead of about each other."

"I text this girl who was renting a room in my house ""I want to lick you out"" If she likes the text then I go with it, if not I blame predictive text and it was meant to say ""I want to kick you out""."

"I love Halloween. Its the only time I can wear my KKK outfit and get away with it."