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Joke of the Day
"I keep having hallucinations of pickles. My therapist says I'm dillusional."
Next Joke
"Do you know the Pistorious drinking game? Every time your girlfriend comes into the room you take four shots."
"What do you call a dark wizard that loves to give hickeys? a necromancer"
"When a farmer fucks a sheep, do you know why he does so at the edge of a cliff? So the sheep will push back."
"Life is like a penis. Simple, relaxed and hanging around freely. It's women who make it hard."
"what did one car say to the other? we are cars"
"I'm going to make a movie about the raid to steal Osama Bin Laden's porn stash. 'Zero-Dick-Thirty'."
"Do you like hot women that scream in bed? Check out the burns unit at the hospital."
"I think if Abraham Lincoln were alive today... He would probably look around, scream, and then desperately claw at the inside of his coffin."
"I sleep with my glasses on so I can dream up smart shit."