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Joke of the Day

"I'm going to make a movie about the raid to steal Osama Bin Laden's porn stash. 'Zero-Dick-Thirty'."

"I almost got killed because my Superman cloak wasn't the correct size. It was a narrow ""S"" cape."

"You're about as unique as a Bob Marley poster."

"I like to go to death metal shows and throw throat lozenges on the stage, it shows I care."

"My daughter keeps rubbing lemon skin all over herself. I think she's pozest."

"Want to know if you're in the wrong relationship? If you were reading this hoping I really had the answer, it's over. You're welcome."

"Why do peasants watch the Weather Channel? To get the serf report"

"I'm saving myself for marriage. Sorry, FROM. Saving myself FROM marriage."

"Last New Year my resolution was 1920x1080 , this year it's to be less of a nerd."

"Where does a King keep his armies? In his sleevies!"