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Joke of the Day

"Do you know the Pistorious drinking game? Every time your girlfriend comes into the room you take four shots."

"Stop leaving the freezer door open! This is why we can't have ice things."

"What's the greatest symbol of inequality? ="

"Indian Brothers & Sisters: You know all those awful things Columbus did to the Native Americans? Just remember...HE WAS LOOKING FOR US"

"Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt."

"Do you have any raisins? What about a date?"

"Shortest Horror Story: Tomorrow is MONDAY again!"

"At my funeral, I want them to play ""Thriller"" and have someone that looks like me climb out of a casket, dancing. (wins at death)"

"If you ever get really mad. All you have to do is think about a T-Rex trying to pick up a basketball."

"Hey John, we expend every night together watching the moon and the stars. What we are? We are security guards Peter!"