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Joke of the Day

"When a farmer fucks a sheep, do you know why he does so at the edge of a cliff? So the sheep will push back."

"Whenever I speak to religious people about my beliefs, I receive a lot of judgement. It seems that Jesus is the only one who truly accepts me for who I am!"

"what gets wet when it dries?? a towel"

"How many rednecks does it take to eat a possum? Two. One to eat it, another to look out for traffic!"

"""If you're pregnant you can't get pregnant, the same goes for getting arrested, can you lick this?"" I ask, trying to roll a joint in cuffs."

"What do you call it when Batman skips church ? Christian Bale"

"I think I hear burglars dear. Are you awake? No!"

"If a leaf and an emo fall from a tree, who hits the ground first? The leaf. The rope stopped the emo."

"Did you hear about the Nirvana tribute act? They played some original songs yesterday. One was called 'Smells Like Kurt's Spirit'."

"I know it's a tetherball pole in a public park. But, where else can I practice my sweet, sexy dance moves on a Sunday morning?"