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Joke of the Day

"What do we want? Apathy! When do we want it? Oh, you know, whenever."

"A Funeral Director isn't the best position in this economy... It's a dying trade"

"'God didn't create Adam and Winston', Says Tenn. Republican Does that mean Adam and Steve have broken up?!"

"Me: ""Your mum sucks."" GF: ""That's not very nice."" Me: ""No, it's wonderful."""

"What did Jamal get for Christmas? Your Bike"

"Me: Can I please sleep? Brain: No. Now sing Mambo #5 again. Me: But I hate that song! Brain: I don't give a shit! Me: 1, 2, 3-4-5..."

"What do you tell a girl with 2 black eyes? NSFW Nothing! You already told that bitch twice."

"Chuck Norris likes knitting sweaters...... if by knitting you mean kicking and by sweaters you mean babies......"

"Looking up at his wife, he asked, ""Honey, Do I have trouble making up my own mind?"""

"Why was Jesus a virgin when he died? Every time he touched a ""wound"" it closed."