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Joke of the Day

"Let's hope the zombie apocalypse doesn't start in Kenya because there is no way any of us can outrun those fuckers."

"What sort of transport does a sheep use? A ewe-nicycle"

"What did the army recruiter say to the gay wizard? ""Don't ask don't spell."""

"Why does black lives matter affect the postal service? They have white mail privilege."

"the plot of hitman is that greg hitman is just trying to go about his day but wacky things always seem to happen when he's around!"

"I put the 'toast' in 'toaster'. Then I take the 'toast' out of the 'toaster'."

"Dead Alive Other"

"Why do people get suspicious when a baby doesn't like you? It's not psychic. It's a stupid baby with shitty taste in people."

"An alpaca made me an offer I couldn't refuse. I guess it was an Alpac'ino."

"If Jason Bateman was a Jedi... I would call him Master Bateman."