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Joke of the Day

"My son wanted to go whale watching for his birthday. So we sat outside McDonald's."

"Intentionally or not, gays are the only people fighting overpopulation and it's time for everyone else to join the fight. But first..."

"Don't ask me if I have a safety pin if you're going to look at me all weird when I pull one out of my pocket and hand it to you."

"I like my bagels like I like my women; lightly toasted with sesame seeds and a little butter. I don't understand this joke format."

"Halloween is, by far, the safest day to kill a person and leave them in a chair on your porch."

"What did the Jamaican priest call the guy who was arrested for sealing several tonnes of spices? A cinna-mon"

"What did the left pussy lip say to the right pussy lip? We used to be really tight until you let that dick come between us."

"My girlfriend has a seashell tattooed on her inner thigh. If you put your ear to it, you can smell the ocean."

"Dating: *prances around in underwear and his t-shirt* Marriage: *Unzips footed unicorn onesie* Do you think this mole is cancer?"

"A man inserted an advertisement in the classifieds ""Wife Wanted"". The next day, he received 1000 of replies, all reading: ""You can have mine."" Free delivery also available at your door step"