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Joke of the Day

"Where does Donald Trump store his books? The fireplace."

"When I see someone in public talking on a bluetooth..I like to position myself on the other side, lean in & whisper ""It's ok I see them too"""

"[In the gym] hey guys it'd be a lot easier to lift these weights if we worked together"

"Everyone wanted to go to Arch Strength, or Arch Dexterity, even to Arch Luck. Can't for the life of me think why noone wanted to go to Arch Wits."

"What airline allows you to pee in cruise? Wizz Air"

"What do you call Samsung store security guards? Guardians of the Galaxy."

"Three blondes walk into a building.... You'd think that one of them might have saw [seen] it."

"Are you smarter than a 5th grader? Wait... Regular or Asian?"

"Why should Ray Charles be a psychologist? Because he feels for everyone."

"The more Twitter tells me it's over Capacity, the more I think Twitter still loves Capacity and regularly sits outside her house, weeping."