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Joke of the Day

"The longest joke in the world No link posts, so you can read the whole thing here: http://www.innocentenglish.com/best-funny-jokes/longest-joke-ever.html"

"Me: *passes ransom note* Mom: 2 bags of unmarked cookies? Me: Or you'll never see the cat alive! Mom: He's behind you. Me: STUPID KITTY!"

"Last night I made love to my wife while camping.... It was in tents"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Austen ! Austen who ? Austen-tentatiously well off !"

"Wife: What r u doing? Husband: Killing mosquitoes. Wife: How many did u kill? Husband: Total 5. Two female, 3 males. Wife: How do u know their genders? Husband: 2 near mirror and 3 near beer."

"Hey you know what's the hardest part of juggling? Telling girls you're not in the mood for sex."

"Why doesn't Jesus like M&Ms? They keep falling through. If that's not offensive enough, replace it with black Jesus and skittles."

"*The most messed up jokes you know* I'll start: What's worse than sucking a dozen raw oysters out of your grandmother's pussy? Sucking out thirteen of them and realizing you only put in a dozen."

"All Aboard! by Abel Seamann"

"What do you get when you mix a donkey & a onion? A Piece of ass that'll bring a tear to your eye"