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Joke of the Day

"Why was the lesbian mermaid fired from the bakery? She was eating all the muff-fins."

"Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity."

"Circumcision and Manners Why did they used to circumcise the penis? Because in the good old days, you took off your hat when you were in the presence of a lady."

"What do you call a stoner balancing his checkbook? High finance!"

"My brother threw a can of Pepsi at me from the roof... I'm just glad it was a soft drink otherwise that may have caused some serious damage."

"That's definitely not my ringtone, but I'm going to have to check my phone anyway."

"I thought about being a mortician On one hand people are dying to get into that field but i hear its dead end job"

"What's the difference between you and me? You came OUT of your mom's vagina."

"Some people are legally blind. What happens to the illegally blind?"

"you can tell im drunk by the number of made-up words i concoctulate"