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Joke of the Day
"you can tell im drunk by the number of made-up words i concoctulate"
Next Joke
"Planning to edit the three Hobbit movies into one watchable movie. Should I use Instagram or Vine?"
"What's the difference between Reddit and Voat? Reddit doesn't constantly have reposts from the other site."
"If there's someone in the aisle of something I need at the grocery store I don't need it anymore."
"Why didn't Rick Grimes settle his group in an abandoned senior center? Too many walkers."
"What do you get when you cross Paris Hilton with Iggy Azalea? A horribly depraved piece of human garbage."
"In Newcastle, England many people don't like to live above the seventh floor in a tower block They have a fear of Eights"
"*falls down* Mom: What was that? Me: My shirt fell Mom: It sounded much heavier than a shirt Me: I was in it"
"As a white man, it's hard to deal with the fact that I have a far greater chance of becoming a serial killer than I do of becoming a rapper."
"i want the first line of my obituary to be about how i once used an umbrella three different times before losing it"