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Joke of the Day

"Deleting your Facebook is the new regaining your dignity."

"Are you fond of alternative sources for cooling technologies? I'm a huge fan."

"A neutron walks into a bar, and orders a beer. He asks the bartender how much it costs, to which the bartender replies ""For you my friend, no charge""."

"It's so embarrassing when someone gets to second base with me and finds crumbs in my bra."

"Single life might be lonely, but at least I'm always with my favorite person"

"Grammar Nazi. ""Sir, we are mining too many useless cores"" [Hitler rubs chin] ""So, mine less. [Grammar Nazi bursts through the door] ""MINE FEWER!"" [Hitler looks up] ""Yes, soldier?"""

"My kid is singing ""Mac-n-cheese"" to the tune of ""Stand by Me."" You guys just tried it, didn't you?"

"What's a fundamentalist Christian's favorite type of car? A convertible."

"What's better than a violin on your bed? A fiddle between the sheets"

"what did the cloud say to the atmosphere? what the hail was that?!"