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Joke of the Day

"If an entire garden was variegated... would it take longer to get in to?"

"I was recently asked to be a part of a biological experiment. The researchers said they would mutate me with an extra chromosome and give me $10 000 for it. I'm down."

"Three states walk into a bar The first goes straight to the back and starts washing tons of dishes. The second orders a small Coke. The third one has no idea what to get. What states are they?"

"The M and the N are too close together on the keyboard, and now she wants to know why I keep calling her homey."

"Why did Yellow divorce Green? Because Green blue Indigo."

"If you're ever attacked by a mob of angry clowns... ...go for the juggler."

"How many times does it take for a woman on period to change a lightbulb? IT WILL TAKE THE TIME IT FUCKING NEEDS !!!"

"What do you call dangerous precipitation? A rain of terror."

"If the opposite of ""pro"" is ""con"", then what's the opposite of ""progress""? ""Cliche jokes""."

"What do programmers and taxi drivers have in common? They both need a *break* every once in a *while*. edit: this is a three-way pun btw - it works better out loud"