53408

Joke of the Day

"Whats the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a dollar and forty nine cents and deer nuts are under a buck"

"The Sombero. A more restrained sombrero you wear at solemn occasions, like funerals."

"How do Mexicans greet Dr. Seuss? Jesus!"

"Not really getting much out of this Bring Your Daughter to Work Day, to be honest. It's almost as if my 6yo had never used PowerPoint before"

"I run a suicide hotline. A guy called me once, told me I had 60 seconds to convince him not to jump off his balcony on the 41st floor. He must've confused me with the *anti*-suicide hotline."

"I told my dad about the school shooting today I don't know why he got so worked up over picture day"

"Who's the biggest celebrity in the Vegetable world? Ocra Winfrey"

"I love being a mosquito... People always clap when I'm around!"

"When you say ""liar liar pants on fire,"" it makes you a liar too. Their pants probably aren't on fire"

"Why????? Which service would the with ask if she would check into a hotel??? THE BROOM SERVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"