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Joke of the Day

"When you say ""liar liar pants on fire,"" it makes you a liar too. Their pants probably aren't on fire"

"Have you ever tried sex when camping? It's fucking intense..."

"If my children are any indication of how much I talk, I would now like to apologize to any man I've ever dated...EVER"

"IamA Bing search engine AMA Please. Just ask me something."

"Three old men are walking down the street... The first old man says ""Hey, it's Windy"" The second old man says ""No, Thursday"" The third one says ""I agree, lets go get a beer"""

"Titanic sank 103 years ago... ...making it the only thing your mom didn't go down on! Hi-YO!"

"Guard dog? Service dog? Yeah, yeah... When earth is invaded by evil aliens that look like pony tail holders, our cat will be a hero."

"What's the difference between finding $50 and anal sex? One will make your day, the other will make your hole weak."

"What's the hardest part of a vegetable to eat ? The wheelchair!"

"How is cunnilingus like riding a bike with an open face helmet? It's a lot of fun as long as you don't end up with bugs in your teeth."