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Joke of the Day
"Who's the biggest celebrity in the Vegetable world? Ocra Winfrey"
Next Joke
"I asked a black man on the street if he could come fix my speaker set up, since he must be good at fixing electronics. He told me I used the wrong stereo type."
"I had that nightmare again last night where I tweet 141 characters"
"Always hide you prescription bottles from your medicine cabinet so ppl don't know how crazy you are. Also, you're now out of xanax."
"What's that movie about the girl who forgets Adam Sandler every day? I want to know her secret"
"Types of cows What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef What do you call a cow with two legs? Your mom"
"What Happens when you fart in church? You sit in your own pew"
"Him: ""Can we have a Doritos themed wedding?"" Me: ""no."" Him: ""well, what kind of chips would you prefer?"""
"Our boss just banned overly specific nicknames and the whole office is staring at Rat Snitch Brian The Good Time Ruiner."
"The old man's stairlift broke down in the middle of the stairs That piece of shit drove him up the fucking wall"