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Joke of the Day

"To the middle-aged guy in front of me at the bookstore buying several martial arts books: Is that even legal with your lack of ponytail?"

"Why Did The Cows Go To Graze In The Marijuana Fields? It was a case of the pot calling the cattle back..."

"Welcome to Wendy's, Where our credit card numbers are always fresh! Never frozen."

"You and Me = Grand Unification"

"My brother was born backwards... His nose runs and his feet smell."

"I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job at the construction site... But when I got home, all the signs were there."

"Me: I like my coffee like I like my ex-wives. My buddy (rolling his eyes): Hot and black? Me: Bitter."

"My girlfriend left a note on the fridge, ""It's not working. I cant take it anymore, I'm going to moms"" I opened the fridge, the light came on, the beer was cold, WTF is she talking about?"

"What is the only inedible part of a vegetable? The wheelchair"

"What do you call an Irishman who bounces off things? Rick O'Shea"