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Joke of the Day

"Hendrik Lorentz walks into a bar... He sits down at the counter. The bartender asks ""Why the long face?"" Lorentz replies ""What do you expect? I'm barely moving"""

"Why did the student fail his physics test? He didn't understand the gravity of the situation."

"Why don't the Cubans have Olympic swimmers? Because they make it here."

"My friend said he had 10 times more chicks than me Well 10 x 0 is 0."

"my friend told me on first dates i should just ""be myself"" and ""be confident"" and i was like ""ok but which one?"""

"You know you're getting old when you go to a new doctor... ...and part of the new patient exam is carbon dating."

"Best advice I can give to newlyweds is to buy a really comfortable couch."

"Why did Kennedy throw his head back? He was taking a shot."

"I lay my girls like I lay my bricks With cement."

"A Jewish girl says to her dad ""Dad, I need fifty dollars."" Her dad looks at her and says ""Forty dollars, what do you need thirty dollars for?"""