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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish shepherd? Mick Jagger yells ""Hey! You! Get off my cloud!"" The shepherd yells ""Hey! McLeod! Get off my ewe!"""

"What's Hitlers least favorite drink? Jewce"

"If we repeal the 14th amendment, does that means there's room for another 2nd amendment? Same as the old one, but this time in all caps."

"Fool me once, shame on me. Fool your Japanese father, shame on your whole family."

"What's the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? I've never had a garbanzo bean on my chest"

"Is it ""raymen"" noodles or ""rawmun"" noodles? I don't wanna sound stupid when asking the gas station clerk for a wine to complement my dinner."

"How do norwegians catch rabbits in norway? They hide in a bush, and make carrot sounds."

"Accidentally dropped a magic mushroom in my cats litter box & now he's laying across the driveway staring at the stars & quoting Kierkegaard"

"I'm a tree born and raised in Israel... ...A Hasidic Yew."

"What do you do if you come across a tiger in the jungle? Wipe it off and apologise."