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Joke of the Day

"I don't have jealousy issues, but I do have ""flirt with my boyfriend one more time and I may have to cut you"" issues."

"If 5 black slaves had sex... Is it considered a threesome? I'm going to hell for this."

"Someone asked me if I was more indecisive or anti-climactic. I guess if I had to choose...I'd definitely say I'm one or the other."

"How do you circumcised a whale? Four skin divers"

"What's yellow has wheels and lies on its back? A dead school bus!"

"Old man Johnson and his world-champion pole vaulting neighbor are really one in the same... They both grip their sticks and try to get it up."

"Which reindeer have the shortest legs? The smallest ones."

"A battery's life sucks. You're either working or you're dead."

"Who has one thumb and isn't allowed to use the table saw anymore? This guy."

"What did the vegetables say at the garden party? Lettuce turnip the beet"