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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a C4 and a feminist? The C4 does something when it's triggered."

"Smile and the world smiles with you. Laugh and the world wants you to stop looking at your phone and drive."

"Why don't hipsters like fishing? It's too mainstream."

"Olive Garden's motto of ""When Youre Here, Youre Family"" makes sense bc I also try to make my family miserable by serving them terrible food."

"I have a photographic memory But I ran out of film a long time ago"

"My girlfriend broke up with me because she caught me having sex with her dog. I guess I really screwed the pooch on that one."

"*walks into Walmart wearing pants* Walmart employee: Shit, corporate's here"

"When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's ""art"" and ""music"" , but when I do it I'm ""wasted"" and ""have to leave the Hardware Store"""

"When asked why he swallowed so much jizz, Rod Stewart would only say: ""My heart can't tell me no"""

"Chess is actually quite easy... Knight takes Rook, King takes Queen, and Bishop molests the Pawns."