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Joke of the Day

"Smile and the world smiles with you. Laugh and the world wants you to stop looking at your phone and drive."

"My friend asked me, ""What is a palindrome?"" I said, ""No, it's not."""

"Also, those little Swiss Army knives are great when you need a tiny pair of scissors to open your Gummi Bears like some kind of crack head."

"I'm having trouble finding a route to my rich aunt's funeral, Oh well, where there's a will... there's a way"

"The next iPhone will be without a... Screen. You can buy a wireless screen. We are removing it because it's bulky and old."

"What do you call a midget with no teeth A gum job."

"What do you find at the end of a double rainbow? A group of gay men"

"""Is your refrigerator running?"" ""My fridge used to run every day, but ever since he started smoking marijuana he just lays on the couch."""

"You tell me to get off my high horse? Why dont you tell the damn horse to stop getting high all the time.. His drug problem isn't my problem"

"I really respect Donald Trump's campaign He's doing so much to help raise awareness for autism."