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Joke of the Day
"What did one plate say to the other? Lunch is on me."
Next Joke
"[job interview] How would you improve our business? ""Dude, I'd bankrupt you in a week. I'm just catchin Pokemon in your office."""
"""Be careful when you follow the Masses. Sometimes the 'M' is silent."""
"What do I get when I pour my Root Beer into a square mug? Just Beer. If you don't get it, think mathematically."
"I masturbated in the shower... I just wanted to come clean. Came up with this earlier, I guess it could've been relevant in /r/showerthoughts"
"Why do chemists love bad jokes? Their jobs get a lot easier when there are no reactions"
"Paranoid Mexicans have a Hispanic room."
"When idiots talk to me, I just imagine they're saying, 'I'm an idiot,' over and over. Makes it easier to nod in agreement and not get cross."
"Have you heard what they say about luck? It could be raining pussy and I'd get slapped in the face with a sweaty dick."
"Velcro... That's a rip off"