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Joke of the Day

"When idiots talk to me, I just imagine they're saying, 'I'm an idiot,' over and over. Makes it easier to nod in agreement and not get cross."

"Do you want to know that people care whether you're alive? Try missing a couple of payments."

"What came first, the hen or the egg? The rooster. ;)"

"Cannibal one liner A cannibal passed a priest in the woods."

"What does an egg say when its ""turnt up""? Omlet!"

"Mmmmmm---let me kiss 'em !! Q. Do ya know when a strip poker game is starting to get good?? A. When somebody's got a big pair showin !!!"

"My brain keeps singing songs I don't even like."

"Somewhere out there, a neurotic chicken wants to cross the road but is paralyzed by the knowledge that everyone will question his motives"

"Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says, ""I'll have some H2O."" The second one says, ""I'll have some H2O too."" The second one dies."

"What did the doctor say to the short guy in a hurry? You're going to have to be a little patient."