193622

Joke of the Day

"Velcro... That's a rip off"

"My three year old just looked up at me and clear as day said, ""I'm sick of this shit."" And all I could do was nod because he is so right."

"Condom Q. What did the penis say to the condom? A. ""Cover me. I'm going in."""

"Why did the pharaoh retire? Because he did not want to be part of a pyramid scheme"

"I, for one, am proud of Donald Trump for paying those hookers to pee on each other. He finally paid a contractor"

"Did you hear about the dumb woman who had... Did you hear about the woman who had two chances to get Pregnant? She blew them both..."

"I love telling dead baby jokes... They just never get old!"

"What did the kid with cancer get for Christmas? Nothing, he didn't make it that far."

"In the United States a man gets kicked in the groin every 6.2 seconds. I would hate to be that man."

"M: If my chip:salsa ratio isn't perfectly even, I will burn down this restaurant, I swear to God. H: This is our house. M: I SWEAR TO GOD!"