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Joke of the Day

"Why can't a schizophrenic kleptomaniac become President? He always takes office clothes."

"I like my women like I like my onion rings. Battered."

"Social butterfly? Nah. I'm more like a social Sasquatch. Some people swear they've seen me, but no one really believes them."

"What does a balding man and a tortoise have in common? Hare loss."

"I have this horrible tofu joke I'm afraid to post... It's really tasteless."

"What's the difference between a baby and a watermelon? Ones fun to smash with a sledge hammer the others just a fucking watermelon."

"My friend said his dog retrieved a ball he threw over a mile away. I don't know, that seems pretty far fetched."

"Andy was away from school for 2 days because he had a flu. On the third day when he went back to school his teacher told him how he felt. I feel with my hands Miss !"

"A gunmen shoots up a clothing store.. So many casual tee's"

"""Honey, have you seen the baby? I haven't seen the baby since I asked you to throw out the bath wat--OH DEAR GOD!!"" - birth of an expression"