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Joke of the Day

"I bought a new boomerang but it sucks, because i cannot throw my old one away."

"What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? Nobody ever wants to borrow my hippo :-("

"At least once a day I say ""nice to meet you"" to someone I've already met which is a great feeling for all involved."

"To my future wife: When I die I want you to mix my ashes in a bowl of chilli from wendi's, then eat it. Just so I can tear that ass up one more time."

"An atheist, a vegan and a crossfitter walk into a bar. I only know because they told everyone within two minutes."

"What do dwarves and midgets have in common? Very little"

"Poland started World War 2 like Iraq was responsible for 9/11"

"I knew it was time to vacuum when the baby rolled over and looked like an everything bagel."

"Q: Why do ducks look so sad? A: Because when they preen their feathers, they look down in the mouth."

"The iPhone 7 may be revolutionary and everything.... But the Samsung Note 7 blows you away."