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Joke of the Day

"*Goes into debt Debt: Wrong hole."

"Why did America remove the ""u"" from ""colour""? Because fuck u that's why"

"What do you call an Asian wearing contacts? Customization. GET IT?? CUSTOM EYES ASIAN!!!"

"My wife came into my room at the ER and started unplugging stuff and flipping switches until she realized that I had just sprained my ankle."

"Buying a new car and online dating are sort of the same thing... You're looking for the youngest model with the least amount of miles on it."

"I am Dyslexia of Borg Your ass will be laminated."

"Told my boss I would be turning in my badge and my gun. He said you work in IT, why do you have a gun?"

"""I am"" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that ""I do"" is the longest sentence? Holy shit this blew up"

"*accidentally likes a hot girl's photo of a sandwich from 3 years ago*"

"Why do Mexicans make burritos? So they can unwrap something for Christmas!"