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Joke of the Day
"I am Dyslexia of Borg Your ass will be laminated."
Next Joke
"the blue thumnbtacks on this map indicate concentrations of high (luna) energy, the red ones are all the panera breads ive been banned from"
"How many Chicago Policemen does it take to crack an egg? None. It fell down the stairs."
"Twins Yesterday, I was hanging out with my girlfriend when her identical twin sister walked by. Then my girlfriend asked me, ""Do you think my sister is pretty?"""
"Watch out for the bandit stealing and shredding newspapers. It's breaking news."
"I'm not a big fan of loud music I guess its just not my forte"
"How hungry do you have to be to eat feces? ...just hungry enough to get McDonald's."
"Why did I quit my job in Mexico? It didn't peso well."
"My ceiling fan has three setting: - very slow - slow - I'm about to detach from the ceiling and kill you in a freak ceiling fan accident"
"Last night on stage at the strip club ... ...was the ugliest woman I've ever seen. She danced up to me and said ""Hey handsome, what would you like me to take off first?"" ""My glasses"" I said"