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Joke of the Day

"Buying a new car and online dating are sort of the same thing... You're looking for the youngest model with the least amount of miles on it."

"At the pharmacy I asked for 50 condoms. 2 girls behind me started laughing. I turned around, looked them straight in the eyes and said, ""Make that 52."""

"What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid and you don't."

"Monogamy is having one spouse. Polygamy is having more than one spouse. Monopolygamy is marrying the Monopoly Guy."

"Two deer walk out of a gay bar... One turns to the other and says ""I can't believe I blew 100 bucks back there""."

"What's red and smells like paint? Red paint"

"What's the difference between a tribe of pygmies and an all-girl track team? Pygmies are cunning runts."

"I'm surprised more people didn't know about the NSA spying programs I mean most of our computers are labelled ""Intel"""

"Laws of Accounting 1. Trial balances don't 2. Bank reconciliations never do 3. Working Capital does not 4. Return on Investments never will"

"What's the difference between Helen Keller and a redneck Helen Keller got famous for not being able to read"