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Joke of the Day
"What do star wars and the U.K. have in common? They both abandoned the EU"
Next Joke
"Me: A watched pot never boils. Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: ... Me: ... Wife: Try turning on the stove, idiot."
"What did Ned Stark say when his daughter told him that she was pregnant? Are ya?"
"Did you hear about the two antennas that got married? The wedding was lousy, but the reception was great."
"I just finished my first week of work at ThyssenKrupp. I'm already seeing great opportunities for upward mobility. All in all, it's been a very elevating experience."
"What does a mobster buried in cement eventually become? A hardened criminal."
"Police inspectors on British mystery shows always seem to know the murder victim. Moral: do not befriend any British police inspectors."
"I had to tell my toddler not to step on the baby. Four times. All my grandchildren from her will be cats."
"Thanks for declaring on Facebook that you've found ""true love."" I look forward to watching it implode in real time."
"I know it's sick... But I'm curious about what bulimics do in the toilet."