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Joke of the Day

"how to fall down a long set of stairs: step 1) step 1 step 2) step 3 step 3) step 7 step 4) step 10 step 5) step 15 step 6) step 26"

"[First Date] Me: *licks corner of napkin* Me: *dabs at his cheek* Him: ............... Me: Sorry. Force of habit."

"If vid games answered back in real time they'd move lots more units I DIED? BULLSHIT! ""Maybe if you didn't suck.."" *slams x-box on floor*"

"Nice tan, what's your race? Carrot?"

"A laptop made in the United States is a portable device. A laptop made in Mexico is a deportable device."

"Hillary and Bernie are on a boat Hillary and Bernie Sanders are on a boat. It's sinking. Who survives? America survives"

"You shouldn't joke fat people. They have enough on their plate as it is."

"Why did the blonde cross the road? I don't know. Neither did she!"

"Absence makes the heart want to fondle other people"

"Como frijoles? How you bean?"