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Joke of the Day

"My father used to say ""Life is like a box of chocolates..."" **BECAUSE WOMEN WILL DESTROY YOU.**"

"Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road? It didn't want to get stuck in any cracks."

"Musicians... cant seem to get of the [sofa](http://imgur.com/xUunghQ)"

"""I'm liking where this is going"" I said, pointing to a potato chip making its way toward my face."

"How do you catch a Polar bear? Cut a hole in the ice, place peas around the hole and when the Polar bear comes up to take a pea, you kick it in the icehole. :)"

"Doctor doctor my baby's swallowed a bullet Well don't point him at anyone until I get there!"

"Mom: Help! Is anyone here a doctor? Vet: I treat horses but maybe i can help M: My son broke his leg! V: Ok hang on. My rifle's in the truck"

"-911 Whats the emergency? My wife is suffocating me -Literally or figuratively sir? Well thats a stupid question. How would I be talking?"

"Porn: It's a load of bollocks."

"How do Italian Chefs swap recipes? By Spaghett-e-mail!"