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Joke of the Day

"[interview] So your resume says you used to be in the theater yes that is correct What made you leave it? well, the movie ended so"

"Have you heard about that new dating app for serial killers? It's called Skinder"

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"I saw a bunch of youths hitting an old lady. I stopped my car, wound down my window and yelled, ""Excuse me, that's my mother-in-law."" ""And what?"" they replied. ""And she's still moving."""

"What's the difference between Ozzy Osborne and Whitney Houston? One plays hard rock, the other is rock hard."

"So PornHub recently revealed what people all over the world were searching most frequently; finally answering a question I've always asked... What is this world coming to!?"

"Two jews walk into a bar. They buy it."

"*Cute girls approaches* ""You keep glancing over here, so I thought I'd come make the first move"" *Panics* *Starts making car alarm sounds*"

"What's the difference between Stanley Yelnats and the rest of the kids in Holes? He was just a nerdy digger."

"Earth has billions of inhabitants, while Uranus has only one.... My dick."