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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why did the blonde become a big basketball fan? A: Because every time they stopped the clock, she thought that she had stopped aging."

"Saying, ""I'm sorry,"" is the same as saying, ""I apologize."" Except at a funeral. - Demetri Martin"

"When people ask me what I'll be doing in 5 years... ""I don't know, I don't have 2020 vision!"""

"What do you get if you cross a dead Israeli leader with a New Age diet nut? Menachem Vegan"

"When I was in my twenties we didn't have hipsters we had AIDS, which was almost as bad."

"Boobs What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better perk up or people will think we're nuts!"

"If at first you don't succeed... ...skydiving is not for you!"

"My car has started clicking at me. I think it's trying to tell me something, but the jokes on him, I don't speak a single African language."

"Why is the retirement center nicknamed ""the garden""? Because it is full of vegetables."

"The local high school volley ball team was having a game against the police force. It was time for the police to protect and serve."