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Joke of the Day
"After you're done watching them, Netflix should let you exchange children."
Next Joke
"What do Jews get at night during the holocaust? Not z's"
"I never loved you any more than I do, right this second. And I'll never love you any less than I do, right this second."
"What's the difference between 'Oh' and 'Oooh'? About three inches"
"If I had Unlimited resources.. I would adopt midget babies from different parts of the world, and raise them in a secluded plot of land somewhere and raise them to believe I am God. :)"
"What's the difference between a divorce and a circumcision? With a divorce you get rid of the whole dick."
"Why did the Republican get a sunburn? Because the sunscreen instructed to apply liberally and he was unwilling to compromise."
"Canada has crack?"
"what's the difference between a my girlfriend and a voice activated sink? One gets turned on and all wet when I speak to it. The other is a voice activated sink."
"Someone just used my driveway to turn around and now I'm standing outside with two open beers and *lonely face*"