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Joke of the Day

"If I had Unlimited resources.. I would adopt midget babies from different parts of the world, and raise them in a secluded plot of land somewhere and raise them to believe I am God. :)"

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"What was the catchiest thing of 2014? Ebola"
"One and only ""Damn, i would like to get down your skirt"", the horny boy said to the pretty girl. The pretty girl replies: ""why? There's already one ashole there"""
"How long does it take a satellite to reach Uranus? Bend over and I'll show you."
"Spiders have it about right. If he doesn't bring her a snack when he courts her it's curtains.."
"Do furries go to doctors or vets?"
"What is the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? The Wheelchair"
"Why didn't the penguin close on his mortgage? He had cold feet."
"Can someone help me find..... The guy on his cell phone laughing uncontrollably because someone rear ended a car full of nuns. I think he was leaving a message. Thanks in advance."
"If April showers bring May flowers what do Mayflowers bring? Genocide."