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Joke of the Day

"What did the Dalai Llama play on stage at Glastonbury? Yakmanninov"

"What did one earthquake say to the other? Hey, it's not my fault."

"Police Officer and the Pothead Police Officer: ""How high are you?"" Pothead: ""No officer, it's ""Hi, How are you?"""

"What's black on top and white underneath? Rape. Offensive jokes are fine as long as they are still jokes."

"[date] ME: ur jacket goes well with ur purse HER: *sits down* see it's not hard to be complimentary ME: u mean complementary HER: *gets up*"

"I had a joke about eating girls out... but apparently it left a bad taste in too many people's mouths, so I had to delete it."

"A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. ""First offender?"" The judge asked. ""No"" said the bailiff, ""First a Gibson, then a Fender."""

"What do making love in a canoe and Budweiser have in common? Both are fucking close to water."

"How are America and McDonald's similar? They are both run by red-headed clowns."

"I'm not going to make my daughter choose a religion, I'll explain the differences & when the time comes she can choose either Marvel or DC."