52409

Joke of the Day

"I'll go to extreme lengths to get the last bit of toothpaste from the tube but I'll also watch 2 hrs of Nick Jr if I can't reach the remote."

"knock knock Who's there? Pill. Pill who? Pill Cosby."

"I'm teaching my 2 year old about currency so I can figure out what coin she just swallowed."

"What does Agatha Christie call a group of almost every type of bird? A Murder of Most Fowls!"

"A pirate's walking down the beach.... ...when he comes across a little girl. The litter girl says, ""Hey Pirate! Where's your buccaneers??"" The pirate responds, ""tucked inside my buck'n hat!!"""

"My trainer said with enough sacrificing I could get a 6-pack. He's full of shit & I have 4 dead goats & 17 decapitated chickens to prove it."

"If everything seems to be coming your way, you're probably in the wrong lane."

"My 11 yo noticed my receding hairline and thought it was hilarious. Until I explained how heredity works."

"Giving blood is a great way to help society AND lose unsightly blood weight!"

"I went to a party dressed as a loaf of bread. The birds were all over me."