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Joke of the Day

"Giving blood is a great way to help society AND lose unsightly blood weight!"

"I can't personally remember an Olympics with better toilet reporting"

"I went on a date with a girl in a wheelchair... I stood her up, and thats when she fell for me, now were on a roll, I just have to figure out how to ramp it up in the bedroom."

"Help! I've been robbed! They stole everything except my deodorant, shampoo and hand soap. Dirty bastards"

"The circus serves as a great analogy for marriage. You're either walking the tightrope or holding a chair because you told her to calm down."

"What do you call a Muslim with a piece of ham on his head Hamed... What do you call one with two pieces of ham on his head Morhamed"

"Whats the difference between Jesus and Mexicans? Jesus doesn't have Mexicans tattooed all over him."

"Teacher : Give me a sentence with the words defence defeat and detail in it. Pupil : When a horse jumps over defence defeat go before detail !"

"I swear if I see one more tweet about 11/11/11 being once in A life time I will snap. Every date is once in a life time! That how time works"

"I went to the doctor and he gave me 2 months to live... I went to the doctor and he gave me 2 months to live. I shot him and the judge gave me 30 years."