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Joke of the Day

"if one member of the motorcycle gang has to pee do they all stop or does he just have to catch back up?"

"Its so hard to know where you're at when your boss is a powerlifter.... They just keep raising and lowering the bar"

"When a guy flirts with me I start blushing uncontrollably and I hide. Then I wait for them outside their house wearing a wedding dress."

"Dates are cool when I tell them I worked in a prison for twenty five years. But man, if I forget that a'..."

"Every time i tell people i want to be a comedian they laugh. See, im that good!!"

"Why are there no female necrophiliacs? Because dead guys can't spend money."

"I've been watching so much porn lately that... I spit on my hot-dog before I put it on my bun..."

"What do you call a guy who hangs out with a bunch of musicians? A drummer."

"My therapist picked a cool time to go on vacay I'm making decisions out here like a wild animal"

"I've reached the point of laziness where even laying around has become too much for me to handle."