101765

Joke of the Day

"I've been watching so much porn lately that... I spit on my hot-dog before I put it on my bun..."

"I didn't want to wake up this morning and go to work. It's not that I don't like my job, it's just"

"Did you hear about the new corduroy pillows? They are making headlines."

"JUDGE: i sentence you to life in prison MY LAWYER WHO IS A HOUSE FLY: nice that's only like 11 days"

"What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud."

"I haven't slept in days I've been sleeping at night."

"Why does Stephen Hawking do one-liners? Because he can't do stand up."

"And God said to John, come forth and you shall be granted eternal life.. .. but John came fifth and won a toaster"

"What happened to all the pokemon GO jokes? I guess people have made the ""switch"" to another fad."

"Me: did you know that abbreviating names can be really confusing? GF: really? Me: yeah George Foreman: that's interesting"