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Joke of the Day

"I accidentally dripped some mustard on my newborn daughter's forehead and long story short a nurse just walked in and saw me lick the baby."

"Dating tip: find a guy with a compatible charger."

"""You never tell me you love me,"" said my girlfriend. I said, ""That's because you never ask."" She said, ""Do you want me to?"" ""Go for it,"" I replied. She said, ""Do you love me?"" I said, ""No."""

"What do fat chicks and mopeds have in common? they're fun to ride until your friends find out."

"A black guy walks into a bar. And he found himself with a headache as he couldn't read the CONSTRUCTION sign"

"How much space is needed for fungi to grow? As mushroom as possible."

"What do you call a slutty midget? A tator thot."

"What is the biggest danger to an ear f*cker? Hearing AIDS."

"The Great Wall of China is one of the 7 wonders of the world just because it's a Chinese product that's lasted more than a month."

"And the Lord said unto John, ""Come forth and receive eternal life."" But John came in fifth and won a toaster."