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Joke of the Day
"If our next President is Donald Trump.. He will put the P.O.S in P.O.T.U.S"
Next Joke
"Following someone around is typically defined as ""stalking"" At my university, it's defined as ""finding a parking space"""
"A man was arrested for having sex with a virgin He was charged with breaking and entering."
"Why are ugly guys better with computers then women? Turning off a computer often fixes the problem."
"Me: *gazes into his eyes* Him: *sweats* M *winks* H: I'm kinda uncomfortable M: But this is love H: It's my job to fill liquor orders, ma'am"
"Me: LARGE FRY! McDonald's Manager: Ma'am, you can't use the drive-thru riding a stick pony. Please leave NOW Me: I WILL CUT YOU! *sirens*"
"Its Saddam shame, the situation in the Middle East... ... it's Assad day for us all."
"We get it. You're Muslim. You don't have to Ramadan our throats."
"DATING TIP: show her your hula hoop skills. keep adding hula hoops. you're now a slinky. everybody loves a slinky."
"My out-of-office voicemail greeting is just a solid three minutes of dry heaving."