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Joke of the Day

"Following someone around is typically defined as ""stalking"" At my university, it's defined as ""finding a parking space"""

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"What is Chuck Norris' only weakness? Cancer"
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"What is the premier dish in Israeli-Japanese cuisine? Jewshi"
"Jesus came to me in a dream and asked me ""do you know how much I love you?"" ""This much"" he said and he spread his arms and died."
"This woman is so impressed at my driving that she got next to me just to show me she's not wearing a ring. Thanks hun, but wrong finger!"
"What's the difference... ...between an egg and a wank? You can beat an egg"
"TIFU Now the disc is not playable."
"The question is not what am I doing in your house, the question is why are you home from work early?"
"I'm eating a bottle of glitter so when I get drunk and throw up tonight people will think I'm a unicorn in human form."
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